UPDATE: This site is being overhauled to be approximately ten times as awesome, and almost useful! This time there will be all kinds of Milian-related goodies awaiting your perusal, including some possibly-accurate information about her, some videos, and lots more drivel written by me! Watch this space folks, the new-look Christina Milian stalk-fest will be online at the begnning of January.

OK you may continue, 2006-me...

It's true - I love her. I'm not talking about the idealised sort of crush that people have on celebrities, I'm actually in love with Christina Milian. I'm not ashamed to admit it, and I don't care who knows. In fact I want everyone to know, I want to shout it from the rooftops, I love Christina Milian and want to marry her! From the very first moment I saw her I knew. I felt her pierce to the core of my very being, I felt the pangs tugging the deepest innards of my soul, and I knew. I knew that there has never been anyone or anything in all of this great world quite so achingly beautiful as she is, and I fell to my knees weeping to thank the good Lord above for giving me eyes.

Now I know what you're going to say - that I'm getting carried away and that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, and normally I would agree. In Christina Milian however we are dealing with someone in such a vastly different league to the rest of them, in much the same way that the Atlantic Ocean is slightly bigger than your bath, that as a consequence normal everyday rules no longer apply. You can talk all you like about Beyonce and Alicia Keys and all the rest of them there, and I am not here to deny their obvious charms (I am, after all, only human), but sometimes, even if only once in an eternity, true beauty will shine through the fabric of everything, as undeniable as the very earth we stand on, and rest itself in the soul of one pure and perfect being - Christina Milian. She is the most beautiful girl in the history of the universe, and that is scientific fact. I can prove it. I'm not being difficult but anyone who disagrees is flying in the face of science and is therefore wrong to the point of blasphemy. There is simply no room for being "subjective" or having "opinions" - it is fact and if you disagree then you are simply wrong.

I know what you must think, that there's no chance a guy like me and a girl like her will ever get together, but I know it can happen. This transcends everything and one day I will open my heart to the universe and dream her to me, and when we are both ready we will meet. Maybe not in this life, but some day we will meet, and on that day I will drop everything and take her hand and run away with her, who cares where as long as she is with me, as long as the wildness and passion of life itself etches her deep into the contours of my memory until the last breaths from my deathbed, because I am in love with Christina Milian and I want to marry her. I want the earth and the sun to revolve around her, I want her to be my life and my world, I want to be with her and listen while she tells me everything, I want to give her lots of little presents and all wrapped up gifts and letters, I want to see her face when I surprise her with things, and I want to grow old together, ageing with the world and remembering the untamed fervour of our youth.

A dream, the cynics among you may say, it will never happen, but I don't care, I know it will happen. It has to. It doesn't matter how long it takes, I will wait forever. I know that one day the world will end, spiralling to its own destruction in a bloated red sun but when it does I'll still be here, waiting, because we will never die. We can't. We'll just go on forever.

Meanwhile, take a look around the site and tell me what you think. It is only a small tribute to this amazing woman, but it is the best I can offer. I wish I could do more, she deserves so much more. She deserves everything she has ever wanted, she deserves all of the love in the world and for her to find anything else would be a tragedy, but I guess a web site will have to do for now. I'll get the other stuff later.